Beautiful Day

July 17: Zack and Eva got married on Saturday. Last year, before the fires, they asked me to officiate their wedding. I remember that moment well. Wendy and I met them for dinner to celebrate their engagement and Zack said, “Eva and I would like you to marry us.” I said, “Check please.” Not really. I said, “Can we get more chips and salsa?” Not really. I said, “Hell yes. It’s my honor.” Zack and I hugged and I remember sharing some tears. For me, there was some serious history in that hug.

“The heart is a bloom. Shoots up through the stony ground. There's no room. No space to rent in this town. You're out of luck. And the reason that you had to care. The traffic is stuck. And you're not moving anywhere.”

I met Zack’s Dad, Gary (aka Rosey), in 1982, 43 years ago. He was living with Brandon’s Dad, Joe (aka Big Fucking Joe) in the fraternity. Room 304. It was on the 3rd Floor of the fraternity where all the “influential” bros lived. Standard fraternity, hierarchy shit. When we first met, I was a Toad, a Pledge, the lowest on the hierarchy. Joe and Gary were already bros. They lived with Adam, who became my Big Bro. So in 1982, Room 304, became a huge “influential” part of my life. Adam single handedly got me my 2nd job of my career, as a business manager. Joe hired me in 2003 when I was “career lost” and became my friend, mentor, and guiding force. Joe showed me the playbook that I used at PCIHIPAA, the Company Brian, River and I sold in 2022. And Rosey was my spiritual guide. Not in a Buddhist way. But in a general life way. He defined and showed me the “Rosey Way.” A way of living. A way of being a husband to Ariel. A way of being a father to Zach and Jessica. A way of loyalty. Sometimes, it was the Rosey Way or the highway. But I always respected that. The Rosey Way felt familiar. Felt like family. He became family. The Rosenfeld’s became family. Who knew Room 304 would become the most important room of my life. A room with a view. A view of my future. A view 43 years later where I’d officiate Rosey and Joe’s son’s weddings within 120 days of each other. That was unimaginable. Impossible to fathom. “Hell yes Zack (and Brandon). It’s my honor.”

“You thought you'd found a friend. To take you out of this place. Someone you could lend a hand. In return for grace. It's a beautiful day. Sky falls, you feel like. It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away.”

Cousin Matt, Brandon, and Zack all asked me to marry them. The initial emotion of their requests was overwhelming. In all cases, I remember feeling a high level of gratitude and honor. It’s confirmation that I made a mark on their lives. A difference that they decided to share with others. That initial rush slowly turns into a feeling of responsibility. You become the point person for their wedding ceremony. What if you fuck it up? What if you say the wrong thing, or use the wrong name? What if you forget something in the ceremony? What if the Bride wanted their Uncle, or childhood friend to officiate? What if…? What if… What if… It’s not like you get a do over. You get one shot. One opportunity to get it right. They are going to remember this day for the rest of their lives. Good or bad. This is no ordinary Saturday. Here is what was going on in my head (sung to the tune of “Here Comes The Bride”):

Here comes the Bride. What should I say?

Hi. I’m the Officiant. How are you today?

Some grandparents died. Uncle Morrie too.

Baruch atah adonai. Whoops. The Bride’s not a Jew.

Who’s got the rings? Service too fast or slow?

My diarrhea’s rumbling. Please prep the Pepto.

Stomp on the glass. Cheers Bride and Groom.

Ceremony’s over. Now where’s the restroom?

Ok. A little dramatic. But you get the point. It’s an honor and responsibility I do not take lightly. I wanted to do everything in my power to make Zack and Eva’s day special. Yes, I contributed. But they are the ones that really made it special. They made my day, not the other way around. I learned a lot during our stay in McCall, Idaho. It was special. It was memorable. It was rewarding for all of us in attendance. My blog is dedicated to sharing learnings. This week was no exception. There was an abundance. Here are some:

Bring people together: Americans ages 15 to 24 spent 70% less time attending or hosting parties last year than they did in 2003 (from Prof. Galloway’s newsletter). Randy and Cathy (mother of the Bride) hosted a lakeside dinner on Friday night that was spectacular. Food, drink, socialize, and jump in the lake. A nice recipe. A winning formula for a gathering. They toasted the soon to be newlyweds and reminded all of us the significance of a good gathering. The next day, Zack praised Richie Tatum for teaching him the importance of bringing people together. I’ve heard Richie and Deanna’s gatherings are generous and legendary. We need to bring people together more often. Our kids need to do it more often. The stats show it. It doesn’t have to be a wedding or a rehearsal dinner. Start small. Be the host with the most. Embrace face to face. Just like the Tatum’s. Great role models, and a great life lesson that’s easy to embrace. Just like Randy and Cathy did last Friday night.

“You're on the road. But you've got no destination. You're in the mud. In the maze of her imagination. You're lovin' this town. Even if that doesn't ring true. You've been all over. And it's been all over you.”

It’s all about the journey. Not the destination. This message was also in Zack’s wedding speech. Although he gave me credit for the lesson, I don’t necessarily deserve it. But I’ll take it. The wedding destination was McCall, Idaho. The real destination (goal) was for Zack and Eva to be married. We drove to the airport; flew from LAX to Boise; got a rental car; drove through McDonald’s; drove 2.5 hours to McCall; unpacked; hit the weekend itinerary; and then played it back on Sunday, after the wedding. That was our journey. We have a Broudy family joke that if you do something wrong, you get put into the doghouse. At the beginning of our journey, “someone” decided that it was too dangerous to pack frozen protein bars in their bag due to the fear of damaging their laptop. “Clifford” means you are in the doghouse big time. I’ll give you a hint who it was.

Was our enjoyment more about the actual wedding (destination) or about the journey? Don’t get me wrong. McCall, Idaho is fantastic. Seeing Zack and Eva say, “I do” was fantastic. Goals accomplished. No doubt. However, laughing with Wendy, Reid and Griffin Lowy on the 2.5 hour drive from Boise to McCall; sharing a cabin with Skylar, Ari (who I called Ira), Kim, Jeff, Michael (Julia’s boyfriend), Wendy and my kids; putting Reid in the doghouse; cracking the windshield of the rental car on the way there and back; late night snacks and recaps; constant cabin banter; and seeing old friends and meeting new friends (like Gina below). This was our wedding journey. It’s what I will remember most. It’s what I will value most. The people.

Zack and Eva’s goal was to be married. But the journey to “I do” surpassed the actual “I do” moment. It’s all about the journey. Embrace it.

Life is finite. Act accordingly. This was another message in Zack’s speech that resonated. Zack’s message was about control. We all control our own destiny. We control how we live and how we decide to spend our time. As such, act accordingly and reach for the stars. If you reach for the stars, you may just land on the moon. And that’s ok. Zack was talking about his future. His and Eva’s future. And it was a great speech. Me, being 30 years older, had other thoughts about Zack’s message. Just a week before the wedding, our fraternity brother Brad Luff had a devastating stroke. My best man at my wedding, David Kingsdale, sprung into action and set up a Go Fund Me for Brad. Dave acted accordingly. Sorry to bring you down. But life happens. None of us know when life will end. As we get older we think about mortality more and more. I thought about Zack’s message by thinking of Brad. Brad is still with us. But as of today he can’t speak, is on a feeding tube, and can’t move one side of his body. His rehab will be a long journey. He needs our help. Thank you. And thank you for the reminder Zack. Life is indeed finite. Every day is a gift. Every day is an opportunity. Never take it for granted. Act.

“It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away. It's a beautiful day, ooh. Touch me. Take me to that other place. Teach me. I know I'm not a hopeless case.”

We is greater than me. I know I have been writing about the “Me” and “We” years of our lives. Zack and Eva’s wedding really emphasized the importance of We. When I met with Zack and Eva about their ceremony, they wanted to make sure I thanked everyone. They said, “We are a product of our guests. We wouldn’t be here without them.” It’s a powerful message. Rosey (father of the groom) thanked just about everyone in the room during his fatherly tribute. He thanked us in a way where we felt part of the family; part of their journey. The Rosey Way. Zack’s fraternity brothers, UCLA co-workers, Eva’s bridesmaids, cool Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, White Elephants, and grandparents Dan and Judy were all highlighted in Rosey’s speech. Rosey focused on We over Me. We first. Because We works. We is greater than me.

Be playful. Acting playful comes naturally when we are young. But as we age, our playfulness tends to fade. Eva, at Friday’s rehearsal dinner, jumped in the lake and joined the drunk frat boys. After the wedding I heard Eva and her Bridesmaids did Huckleberry Vodka shots before the ceremony. Zack pulled out the cup game during the wedding party. However, the most playful was Solky. I don’t know Solky. I think his name is Solky. At least that’s what I thought people were calling him. But my hearing is not as playful as it used to be. What? Solky looks older than me, but in good shape. I’ll describe Solky as the Sr. Energizer Bunny. He was the first to take the slide off the boat into the lake. He was one the first to jump in the lake at the rehearsal dinner. He wore a captain’s hat all weekend. He defined playful. He never stopped. Inspiring. Tiring. Way to go Solky.

“See the world in green and blue. See China right in front of you. See the canyons broken by cloud. See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out. See the Bedouin fires at night. See the oil fields at first light and. See the bird with a leaf in her mouth. After the flood all the colors came out.”

Love is blind. Use glasses. I’ve been to (4) weddings this year and all have been inspiring in different ways. Wendy and I are now the “old couple,” 30 years ahead of Laura and Derek, Brandon and Victoria, Chase and Lo, and Zack and Eva. It was inspiring to hear Zack say, “I’m marrying the ‘Woman’ of my dreams.” It was equally inspiring to hear Eva say, “Zack pushes me in the right ways to make me better. I can’t wait to see what lies ahead.” That’s blind love in a nutshell. They see glimpses of their future, but they don’t really know. Just ahead they see their friends Sam and Jeremy playing with their babies. They see the longest marriage survive in grandparents Dan and Judy. They see their Parents, Aunts, Uncles, friends and family. They see engagements, marriages, and divorce. They see other grandparents only in spirit. And also dogs Luke, Chester, Munchkin, Schnauzer, Lucky, Roxy and Coco (also only in spirit). I asked them during the ceremony, “That’s a lot of dead dogs. What are you feeding them?” Sure. Love is blind, but we all have glasses. The glasses that help us imagine our futures. From those ahead of us. They help guide us. For most of my life it was my parents. Now that my parents are gone, my 30 - years - ahead- glasses are provided by Goog and Ron, Wendy’s parents. I also wear a pair of 10 - years - ahead- glasses called, “Fiance.” Happy 40th, Bethie and Rob. I see you. We see you.

“It was a beautiful day. Don't let it get away. Beautiful day. Touch me. Take me to that other place. Reach me. I know I'm not a hopeless case. What you don't have you don't need it now. What you don't know you can feel it somehow. What you don't have you don't need it now. Don't need it now.”

Dear Zack and Eva,

Thank you for giving me the honor of officiating your wedding. As the Officiant, I was gifted a unique opportunity to meet new people and catch up with old friends in ways unimaginable to me. My 3 words to describe you as a couple are Driven. Playful. Inspiring. Your love inspired me. Your playfulness inspired me. Your drive to make McCall happen so effortlessly, inspired me. Inspired us. I wrote above what your wedding weekend taught me and taught others. Embrace the journey. Be playful. Live everyday. Bring people together. Learn from those before you. McCall was beautiful. But watching your journey has been more beautiful. I gift you my 30 year glasses. Your future looks clear, bright, and playful.

With love and gratitude,

The Officiant.

“It was a beautiful day.” Where’s the restroom?