Endless Love

Day 43. Just another day. Another week. We are still receiving gifts from people. They are becoming more and more sentimental as our situation settles in. Jayme and Jess sent Wendy amazing candles. Chayim brought over “Catcher In The Rye” and the same Nolan Ryan baseball card I used to have. Laura Habecker is bringing over special candlesticks. “Pam Mirvis, I love this hat. You know how much I love Hat Day.” This is not my outcry for more gifts. It’s the opposite. The fact is I’m more comfortable as the giver. I’m also a lover. I was voted “Most Cuddliest” in High School. Yes, that was a thing. I think it’s because I was husky. I’m still husky. I’ve always been husky. Mr. Cuddliest makes me think about a stuffed teddy bear. “Oh it’s so cute.” But the fact of the matter is when “cuddles” turn into “action”, the stuffed teddy bear gets thrown off the bed. Ouch. At least my huskiness helped absorb the falls. But really. Thank you for the gifts. It’s becoming more than uncomfortable for me. We almost have more stuff now than we did on 1/6. However, I do need to go shopping. Holbrow is taking me to Travis Mathews today. We are getting the Zack C. discount (thanks Zack C.)

“My love, there's only you in my life. The only thing that's right. My first love
You're every breath that I take. You're every step I make.”

FireTalk: I mentioned last week that Julie Locke (Mrs. Holbrow) is a big deal at Ernst and Young (EY). She recently was on a webcast about the fires. It’s called, “Insurance Insights and FEMA Guidance: Rebuilding After The California Wildfires.” I haven’t listened to the entire webcast, but I did tune into Julie’s part. She does a great job of going into details about her fire experience from the very beginning on 1/7 to how she is now navigating her post fire checklist. I teared up. I’m sensitive. She instantly took me back to that day. She verbally visualized the stuff I am dealing with. It was a very relatable listen. Julie highlights a couple great takeaways that really resonated.

First, Leverage Your Network: Julie shares how there are so many decisions and things we are all processing that it’s key to leverage the people in your network. Especially from those that you trust most. Often, when we are dealing with difficult situations we (or I) tend to get into our heads. We tackle the problem (s) alone. We don’t want to burden others with our shit. “I can fix it.” “I’ll just do it myself.” “Thanks, but no thanks.” The Holbrow’s landed in Manhattan Beach after the fires. Their network includes John and Jen Cochran who opened up their home to Bill, Julie and Sully (their dog). The Cochran’s are living proof that a strong network is key. It was Julie’s professional way of describing how to leverage your peeps. She’s way more professional than I am. The Peeps want to help, and embracing them is sound advice. In fact, on Saturday night a lot of us showed up at the Cochran’s to leverage their food, cocktails, and dessert. Wendy even invited her sister Amy and Brad to meet us because they just happened to be in the neighborhood. The Cochran’s were open arms to all. Amazing people. Amazing Network. Use it or lose it.

Second, Advocate for Yourself: Julie said, “We are all stronger than we think.” I am more husky than I think, but I hear what she is saying. A great story that Julie shares (that Wendy also experienced) was with Audi. Wendy and Julie both have Audi’s. I have an Ini. Audi wanted to charge her $1,000 to replace her key fob that was destroyed in the fire. The same key she uses to driver her car. On her first call, they offered $0 discount. On her next call, $200. She didn’t settle because she didn’t feel it was fair. She decided to advocate for herself and get what she deserved; a free replacement. Nice. And so did Wendy. For all Audi owners out there, follow Julie and Wendy’s lead and call 1-800 AudiNotAnIni.

I’m learning through this process that many retailers don’t do wildfire victims well. They have a standard service process, and their employees become robots to the process. AI anyone? They have a difficult time course correcting and adjusting to the moment. Adjusting to life. There are no standard rules for wildfires. It’s not in the manual or employee handbook. So the human acts like a robot and they just don’t think. They forget what it’s like to be human. We’ve lost our humanity. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. Thank you Julie for advocating for humanity. Great webcast! You are stronger than you think (and you are already pretty strong).

On a related note. Here’s my Peleton update. I lost a bike and a treadmill in the fires. Our cousins Lisa and Josh gifted us their Peleton. They said (wink…wink…) “We’re not using it anymore” More gifts? But so generous and nice. They even delivered it and set it up for me. I bought my replacement treadmill in January from Peleton, but it hasn’t been delivered yet. It’s back ordered. Back ordered means supply chain issues. Inventory issues. In their defense, the CEO did get back to me, and they did send out a letter to all members that were impacted. I advocated for myself and received a $500 credit. Better than nothing. But I should have called Julie. I just did finish my first ride. When I checked the leaderboard, I kid you not, I fell behind “Mile High Nana.” WTF? I couldn’t catch her. Too high. Too quick. Fly Nana fly. You won.

When you wake up in the morning what is the very first thing you think about? That’s usually what you are excited about, bothering you, afraid of, or choose your deep emotion. Songwriters have said that sometimes they wake up and the song just comes out. Crazy. They have no idea why. Their subconscious becomes conscious and the song just writes itself. I’m no brain surgeon or (songwriter) but I think it has to do with how our brains work. This morning I woke up to this song screaming in my head:

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye (KKK)… I am a Jew.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye… Who the fuck are you?

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye… You’re now irrelevant.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye… Your hell is for rent.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye… What are your intentions?

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye… You named your kids directions?

I’m really not sure why I woke up to that song, but Happy Valentines Day everyone! Happy Set Menu. It took Wendy and I a good 5 years before we stopped going out on Valentines Day and decided to celebrate the night after. This Valentines Day made me think back to our Engagement Day. Love is in the air, and everyone who knows me knows how much of a romantic I am. I could hear my friends laughing. But I really am a romantic. I love a good romance. “When Harry Met Sally.” Come on. Did you know that Harry lived on Chautauqua Blvd. Harry’s house burned down, just like mine.

“My love, there's only you in my life. The only thing that's right. My first love
You're every breath that I take. You're every step I make. And I, I want to share
All my love with you. No one else will do.”

Here’s how romantic I am. My engagement to Wendy was on the Palisades’ bluffs over looking the Pacific Ocean. I had her boss prepped to trick her into thinking she was working that weekend. I had a limo pick her up and drive her to the bluffs. This was 5 years before we bought 1057. On her driver, she listened to a love themed mixed tape I made for her. I greeted her on my knee with a diamond ring and bottle of Dom. The same diamond Bill and the Marlboro Man found in our burnt safe. Then we had lunch at Ivy at the Shore. We ended our Engagement Day with a surprise family gathering at a nearby hotel. I romantically went into debt $25,000 that day in 1993. That’s like $100,000 in today’s dollars. Why are today’s dollars worth more than yesterdays’ dollars? It’s still the same looking dollar. Hmmm. I think it’s because the same looking dollar buys you less. That’s called “inflation” boys and girls. A Big Mac costs what? Econ 101. I got a C. But what a day. What a memory. That day was the best decision I made in my life. I’m a romantic. Right?

“My love, there's only you in my life. The only thing that's right. My first love
You're every breath that I take. You're every step I make. And I, I want to share
All my love with you. No one else will do”

So the day after Valentine’s Day, I’m singing the Fuck Kanye song and taking Wendy to Ivy At The Shore. It’s still our favorite restaurant even after 30 years. There is just something about sitting on a patio, overlooking the beach with a margarita. I can’t help but be grateful and smile. It’s just that feeling. You know it. I tell my kids that my best job ever was working at 31 Flavors as a kid. Why? Because ice cream makes you happy. Every customer walks in happy. It’s hard to be an asshole while ordering a banana split. Working in an ice cream store is the opposite of working at the DMV. Sitting at the Ivy and sipping a marg’ is my adult version of scooping a double of pralines and cream and rocky road. It just makes me happy. But, I have to say, tonight feels different. Yes, I had my marg. Yes, we were on the patio. Yes, our favorite waiter Jersen was happy to see us. Yes, we were celebrating Valentine’s Day. Celebrating another year of love. But it just felt different. There was something missing. It wasn’t the same. We are not the same.

I’m in love with Wendy. She is my person. I’m also in love with 1057 and she was not there. We drove a different route to the Ivy. A different route from the one that we’ve been taking for the last 30 years. Feels different. Jersen told us business is down over 50% since the fires. Feels different. Must be customers deciding not to take a different route. Or living too far away to take a different route. Or just too damn depressed to take a different route. Feels different. Same great service. Same over priced meal. Same great tasting marg. But feels different. I lost my 1057 love. And even though she never joined us for dinner, I always felt she was close. I always knew my route home.

I’m a romantic. I loved so many things about 1057. The way she looked. The way she smelled. Her inner drive..way. She died on January 7, 2025. I miss her so much. I can picture her in my mind. But, I know her memories will slowly fade. I can’t even remember where I put my _____ (next word). Can I fall in love again? I don’t think I’m ready to start dating. But I am a romantic. Maybe I should just sit on the sidelines for awhile and just see what’s out there. It’s been 26 years. Did I forget how to fall in love? But I’m a romantic. 1057 was so young when me met. So playful. Over the years we kinda grew up together. We shared the good and the bad. I’ve been with her for over 40% of my life. WOW. Can I fall in love again? Is it too soon? I don’t really want to date, but everywhere I look there are singles. Everyone is single. I’m a single tenant. Am I ready to be a married owner again? Is it too soon?

Chris Rock has this joke about when divorced people are talking about getting married. He says, “Why you going back to Shawshank?” I don’t know if the love and marriage analogy above really works with a home. But in a weird way it does feel like that. The only difference is that Wendy is in this love triangle with me. She lost her love also. She misses her.

This week we toured our new neighborhood. We walked into a handful of open houses. It felt like Wendy and I are searching for the perfect threesome. I’m a romantic. Not a one night stand, but someone we can really fall in love with. Again. Together. Another Endless Love…

“My first love. You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make. And I, I want to share. All my love with you. No one else will do. And your eyes, your eyes, your eyes. They tell me how much you care. Ooh, yes
You will always be. My endless love.”

“WOW! You’re hot! This is my wife Wendy. Are you interested in a threesome?”