Still The One

June 26: As a follow up to last week’s blog, my kids called me right away and warned me about posting my driver’s license online. I was trying to emphasize all the changes I had been making, and it was so stupid of me to post it. We read almost every day about the online crime and phishing scams. I can’t believe I didn’t think about the risk. Both my kids had to call me before I realized my mistake. I hope I didn’t embarrass them. I guess it’s part of the downside of writing a blog. You just don’t know how things will be interpreted. I may unintentionally offend or embarrass someone. Especially, my family. I need to be more careful. I will be more careful.

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“We've been together since way back when. Sometimes I never wanna see you again
But I want you to know, after all these years. You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear.”

I woke up last night from a dream that I opened a Japanese inspired Jewish deli. It’s called Hava Nigiri. Sing it. “Hava Nigiri. Hava Nigiri. Hava Nigiri. Try the Gefilte Tar Tar.” I also dreamed up the menu. You could start with our (8) piece Menorahname or try some Yellow Tail Challahpenos. If you don’t like either of those appies you can substitute for some Wasabin Laden Cakes. Our signature meals are the Trust Me or Sue Me served with our specially prepared Oy Vey Sauce. If you want something more traditional we have Miso Matzah Rolls or Hide The Affiko Mento Box. On Saturday nights we have (2) Yamakakase seatings that features the famous Chef Nobubbe. Please join us. Bring out that inner Japanese Jew in you. Or if this is not your thang, you can go next door to the German Italian Deli, “Guten Tag Liatelle.”

My friend Gary and his family just got back from Japan and he was showing me pictures. It reminded me of our Japan trip. On the same night I played poker with some college friends. Shoney and Goldy both had kids that were stuck in Israel during the attacks. If anything was going to inspire my Japanese Jewish Deli, it was their stories. Overall, I think both Dads felt their kids were somewhat safe. Very somewhat. Not sure about the Moms. Going from bunker to bunker and waiting for their kids’ updates could not have been easy. It wasn’t. I listened to their stories. I was moved. Hearing their kids’ journeys of making their way out of Israel was moving. I couldn’t help but think about Julia and Reid being in the same situation. I pictured them being there. I pictured Goldy and Shoney’s kids being there. I pictured. I guess my pictures turned into a Japanese Jewish Deli while I slept through the night. Unlike Shoney, Goldy, Michelle and Melanie. Maybe it was my metaphor for getting home safely. “Deli” is my safe word. Welcome home Jack and Sydney. I’m thrilled to have you back home. Next time I see you, a round of Manesakiwitz on the house.

“You're still the one I wanna talk to in bed. Still the one that turns my head.
We're still having fun and you're still the one.”

While I woke up to Japanese Jewish Deli themes in my head, it was also my 30th wedding anniversary. What a Tuesday. 30 years. Wow. Let’s start there. Wendy and I spent the day together. As we should. It’s not everyday you get to celebrate 30 years together. I’m writing this the day after our anniversary and reminiscing on yesterday, which was spent reminiscing on the prior 30 years. We exchanged gifts. We took a long walk. We laughed. We cried. We toasted. We boasted about our 30 years together. Celebration. When I look back 30 years I remember a lot, and I forget a lot. Our conversations yesterday were not focused on specific memories or moments, they drifted towards larger life themes. We celebrated the grandness of 30 years together. Like many before us, we said things like, “Where did the 30 years go?” Can you believe it’s been 30 years since our wedding?” “We are so lucky to have found each other.” “In 30 years we have built layers and layers of family, friends and gratitude.” We are grateful. We are lucky. We are old (er). We are wiser. We are chosen.

Wow. That’s a big fucking cake. I remember keeping it in our freezer for a year and celebrating our first anniversary with some wedding cake. I put this picture in Chat GPT and asked it to analyze it. It said the cake would cost $20,000 today and I would lose my hair soon. Wendy and I discussed the decisions, coincidences, and/or fate throughout our lives. My Dad writing my UCLA appeal letter. My Mom nudging me to rush ZBT fraternity. My friend Laura R. who introduced me to Laura P. who cut hair near my office where Adam helped me get a job. And Laura P. just so happened to go to school with Brad who was engaged to Amy (Wendy’s sister). Laura P. out of coincidence, fate, chance, skill or whatever introduced me to a Brown Eyed Girl. We tend to dismiss these moments because in real time they seem like just another day. Just another introduction. Just another setup. Just another date. But it wasn’t just another setup. It was The Setup. I felt the connection fast. It felt different to me. I had Good Vibrations about what was happening and probably most importantly, I let it happen. I didn’t fight it. That’s hard. I remember it being hard at the beginning. Probably because (2) of my fear buckets were filling up. The fear of rejection and the fear of what others think. Specifically, what does Wendy think? What do friends think? However, luckily for me, my fate was sealed in 1993. After a year of dating and a year of engagement, we were married on June 24, 1995. You’re The One That I Want.

“I looked at your face every day. But I never saw it 'til I went away. When winter came, I just wanted to go (wanted to go). Deep in the desert, I longed for the snow. You're still the one that makes me laugh. Still the one that's my better half. We're still having fun and you're still the one.”

Where does 30 years go? Time In A Bottle. I officiated Brandon and Victoria’s wedding. I recently attended Lo and Chase’s wedding. I’m honored to officiate Eva and Zack’s wedding in July. Then we get to go to Napa for Emily and Ethan’s wedding. Next year is Talia and Tanner and also Sam and Jack. The circle of life is happening fast. Happening around us. My advice (even though you didn’t ask) is that 30 years happens because you live it. You let it. You work at it. I’m no marriage counselor, but I have more experience then most of them. Don’t look 30 years ahead. Don’t look 10, 5, or even 1 year ahead. You know it when you make the right choice. You don’t know if it will last 30 years. None of us do. But you know you have a shot because it feels right today. That’s all you want. That’s all the momentum you need. You need “Now” to feel right. It shouldn’t feel hard or forced. Feeling That Way. You found each other through coincidence, fate, work, love, luck, or whatever. Congratulations! Now copy and paste from the people you love most. Take their experiences and make them yours. If you want to lose weight, talk to thin people. If you want a long lasting relationship, talk and observe from the ones before you. It’s not really copy and paste. It’s observe, spend time, ask questions, live, learn, make mistakes, and make it yours. Love Me Do. Make each other a priority. It’s not going to be easy. Nothing important ever is. It’s going to feel out of balance at times. But that’s ok. Recognize that something’s off. Discuss it. Communicate. Find your way back. Never lose respect for each other. If you do, it’s probably over. Respect is earned, not given. Keep earning it. Have I Told You Lately.

At my wedding, I walked down the aisle to Take Me Out To The Ballgame. Seemed appropriate. I’ve always associated baseball with life. I remember walking down the aisle with my parents. The fans (wedding guests) along side of me as I made my way to the batter’s box. My at bat of a lifetime.

“You're still the one that makes me strong. Still the one I wanna take along
We're still having fun and you're still the one (yes, you are). Ooh. Ooh. Changing, our love is going gold. Even though we grow old, it grows new.”

My Coaches (Judi and Stan) were to my right and left. My friends and family are my teammates. They were cheering me on. I win in life because I have a strong team. We have a strong team. 30 years of togetherness. We Are Family. I look back 30 years and realize so many things have changed and just as many have stayed the same. 30 years ago Wendy had (3) out of (4) grandparents at our wedding. And I had the sole survivor, Max Broudy at 95.

30 years ago the Malkin Rowan band was strong. 30 years later it’s stronger than ever (3) Original Band Members + (6) Husbands + (14) Kids + (1) Daughter in Law + (3) Engagements + (2) Grandkids. That is the definition of 30 years. Below, my sister Jackie, cousin Margo and some really awesome friends (Top Shelf) rounded out Wendy’s bridal party.

When I put this picture in Chat GPT it asked, “Did Hope’s neck stiffen up from holding it in that position for so long? And “Did Amy play on the Women’s USA Olympic Soccer Team?” As I look back, my parents are gone. Markus is gone. Joe wasn’t invited because we lost touch from 1986 to 2003. I had a strong team 30 years ago and I have a strong team today. Top Shelf and Classics. This is the definition of happiness. It’s proven. You don’t need (11). I’m lucky that way. But find a handful of good friends. And when you do, keep them close. You’re My Best Friend (s). Thank you.

I put this picture in Chat GPT and it asked, “Was Lowy in Reservoir Dogs or was that Sean Penn’s brother?” and “Is Dave standing?”

You're still the one that I love to touch. Still the one and I can't get enough
We're still having fun and you're still the one. You're still the one who can scratch my itch. You're still the one that I wouldn't switch. We're still having fun and you're still the one.

Looking back, even the famous Prof. Galloway was in attendance. From Galloway’s Podcast, I get so many people asking me, “How do you know Galloway?” He crashed my wedding. I invited his first wife, Margaret. Margaret and I went to Polytechnic High School together. We were fellow Poly Parrots. And I guess Scott came as her date. Just kidding. We’ve been friends and fraternity brothers for over 40 years. Along with the Blaus, Freys, Silvermans, Leshgolds, and Barens (all below). 40+ years of friendships, marriages, kids, gratitude and hairlines. These people also shaped my life. They made my life. Thank you.

And a special shout out to my Best Man 30 years ago and today. How studly we were (are).

Wendy and I talked about how my family became hers and hers became mine. We are all one. One Love. A shout out to my cousin Denise who survived a scare on Sunday. Love you Cuzzzzz. You are a rock. Lean On Me. 30 years is a long time. And it’s not. It’s so hard to comprehend when I look back at all these pictures. All this hair. Why does hair have to fall out? Is it God’s way of saying you have too much in life, I need to even out the playing field? Maybe bald guys have everything in life except hair. And those with a lot of hair, beware. Be careful you hair fulls, us baldies got it going on. They say a picture tells a thousand words. Wedding pictures tell stories. They tell memories. They tell history. Layers and layers of history. 30 years of it. And where did all the time go? Day by day. Week by week. Year by year. Ups and downs. Celebrations and tragedy. 30 years. Some close. Some far. I love you. Just The Way You Are.

My anniversary gift from Wendy was a set of Boogie Boards. She heard me talking about wanting them the other day. I’ve always said, “Whatever you can do in your 60’s (70’s/80’s/90’s) that you did in your 20’s; keep doing it.” Getting married excluded. That was a joke. No judgement. Sachs just got married in his 60’s (Or close. (Congratulations to B and Nadia). Randy and Kyle are getting married (Awesome!). Golf. Concerts. Exercise. Sex. Travel. Boogie boarding. Reading. Writing. Arithmetic. I’m going to keep doing it for as long as I can. We are going to live this life for as long as WE can. Turn To You.

During our wedding, I had my Groomsmen learn “Sweet Sunshine”, sung to the tune of Sweet Caroline. Wendy was surprised when they sang, “Sweet Sunshine… even mornings you look good. You are so fine… when I see you I get wood.” Whatever. I’m a blogger, not a songwriter. That’s The Way (I Like It).

Thank you Laura R. and Laura P. for making matchmaker. Thank you Ron and Goog for paying for the wedding. It was a memorable day.

Dear Sunshine,

You Are The Sunshine of My Life. I’m so lucky to have found you. You make me laugh and you drive me crazy. Crazy in love. We’ve had an amazing 30 year ride. And there’s more to come. Let The Good Times Roll.

“You are still the one that makes me shout. Still the one that I dream about
We're still having fun and you're still the one.”

My gift to you is the playlist of our life. Listen To The Music.

Listen. Share. Repeat.

Happy Anniversary Playlist (download on Apple Music)

I love you always and forever.

Jeff

“Mazel Tofu! Hava Nigiri. Hava Nigiri. Hava Nigiri. Where’s Waldo Schwartz?”

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